Welcome Guest! ( Login | Register )
The day after
   
Daddiesgirl
12/17/2016     
Member Hi everyone.

I'm new to the forums so firstly hello to everyone .
I'm also new to the whole Dom / sub scene and just wanted to get some advice. It's been bothering me for a while so pleased I've found a forum to talk to like minded people

I'm recently discovered I'm submissive and enjoy the whole Dom / sub lifestyle . I've always been part of an online 'swinging scene ' , a year ago I met a guy ... who is now my Dom. He is amazing and over the year we've become closer in every respect ( I'm am married to another as is he ) my partner is aware and also knows my Dom.

I've found that after intense sessions with my Dom I can become low, irrational and somewhat confused ..if I don't speak to him the next day or we have a rushed goodbye I also feel sometimes guilty and unwanted / abandoned is this normal? The next day I find is when it kicks in. Obviously physically I am completely drained but emotionally I am as well. Is this normal ? I can at times be needy (I admit to this ). I've just brought this to my Doms attention as today it seems to be affecting me more. He can't talk and I now feel guilty for even mentioning my needs.


Sometimes we are together for a whole day and sometimes we spend the night together ..
Post #1035656 Back to top ▲
12/17/2016
  
Daddiesgirl
Member
Hi everyone.

I'm new to the forums so firstly hello to everyone .
I'm also new to the whole Dom / sub scene and just wanted to get some advice. It's been bothering me for a while so pleased I've found a forum to talk to like minded people

I'm recently discovered I'm submissive and enjoy the whole Dom / sub lifestyle . I've always been part of an online 'swinging scene ' , a year ago I met a guy ... who is now my Dom. He is amazing and over the year we've become closer in every respect ( I'm am married to another as is he ) my partner is aware and also knows my Dom.

I've found that after intense sessions with my Dom I can become low, irrational and somewhat confused ..if I don't speak to him the next day or we have a rushed goodbye I also feel sometimes guilty and unwanted / abandoned is this normal? The next day I find is when it kicks in. Obviously physically I am completely drained but emotionally I am as well. Is this normal ? I can at times be needy (I admit to this ). I've just brought this to my Doms attention as today it seems to be affecting me more. He can't talk and I now feel guilty for even mentioning my needs.


Sometimes we are together for a whole day and sometimes we spend the night together ..
Post #1035656
trix
12/17/2016     
Member It's called drop.
yes it is normal. Unfortunately, he can't be there for you all the time.
So the best thing is to find things to do, eat healthy, have friends and your married partner there to support you thru drop.
aftercare could help the severity of drop, but doesn't prevent it.

Hope this helps.
talking to him about your needs should never make you feel guilty. You are 50% of that relationship too.

Post #1035667 Back to top ▲
12/17/2016
  
trix
Member
It's called drop.
yes it is normal. Unfortunately, he can't be there for you all the time.
So the best thing is to find things to do, eat healthy, have friends and your married partner there to support you thru drop.
aftercare could help the severity of drop, but doesn't prevent it.

Hope this helps.
talking to him about your needs should never make you feel guilty. You are 50% of that relationship too.

Post #1035667
Daddiesgirl
12/17/2016     
Member Unfortunatly although my husband is involved in this it's not something I could share with him so I feel I have no one to talk to. I've spoke to my Dom today and he says none of his other former subs have had this. He reassures me He takes it as a compliment and that it's just one of your unique complexities
Post #1035674 Back to top ▲
12/17/2016
  
Daddiesgirl
Member
Unfortunatly although my husband is involved in this it's not something I could share with him so I feel I have no one to talk to. I've spoke to my Dom today and he says none of his other former subs have had this. He reassures me He takes it as a compliment and that it's just one of your unique complexities
Post #1035674
trix
12/18/2016     
Member May I ask why you couldn't share it with him?
Post #1035706 Back to top ▲
12/18/2016
  
trix
Member
May I ask why you couldn't share it with him?
Post #1035706
sophie35
12/18/2016     
Member That's strange that your Dom never heard about Sub drop .from my experience I know It's not nice experience going through it alone .
You should eat some chocolate, drink lemon and ginger tea but talking to your Dom is important.
Talking helps,
good luck and hope next time you won't be going through it alone .
Post #1035712 Back to top ▲
12/18/2016
  
sophie35
Member
That's strange that your Dom never heard about Sub drop .from my experience I know It's not nice experience going through it alone .
You should eat some chocolate, drink lemon and ginger tea but talking to your Dom is important.
Talking helps,
good luck and hope next time you won't be going through it alone .
Post #1035712
Daddiesgirl
12/19/2016     
Member My husband loves most parts of the lifestyle and is on very good terms with my Dom and we often meet together . He does however have some difficulties on occasions with the mental and emotional side of it all so I don't feel I can seek support from him
Post #1035752 Back to top ▲
12/19/2016
  
Daddiesgirl
Member
My husband loves most parts of the lifestyle and is on very good terms with my Dom and we often meet together . He does however have some difficulties on occasions with the mental and emotional side of it all so I don't feel I can seek support from him
Post #1035752
Daddiesgirl
12/19/2016     
Member Well we have spoken today and I fear it didn't really go well. My Dom says that the day after should be a positive experience and we shouldnt be arguing . I said that I didn't want to argue, I just wanted to ask if it was normal. I had asked him if he didn't want to talk about it if he could point me in the direction of a forum.i had asked and told him because of his experience. When I told him I didn't ever want to argue with him either becuase it upset me he said then he'd rather just draw a line under it

He briefly said that he'd considered cancelling our overnight this week for fear of any headache.

I care very deeply for my Dom and just want to please, our dynamics have changed so much recently as he has other commitments and to be honest I just want to please him

Edited: 12/23/2016 by Daddiesgirl
Post #1035753 Back to top ▲
12/19/2016
  
Daddiesgirl
Member
Well we have spoken today and I fear it didn't really go well. My Dom says that the day after should be a positive experience and we shouldnt be arguing . I said that I didn't want to argue, I just wanted to ask if it was normal. I had asked him if he didn't want to talk about it if he could point me in the direction of a forum.i had asked and told him because of his experience. When I told him I didn't ever want to argue with him either becuase it upset me he said then he'd rather just draw a line under it

He briefly said that he'd considered cancelling our overnight this week for fear of any headache.

I care very deeply for my Dom and just want to please, our dynamics have changed so much recently as he has other commitments and to be honest I just want to please him

Edited: 12/23/2016 by Daddiesgirl
Post #1035753
niet-ish
12/21/2016     
Member he sounds like a self important ass
get rid of him and find someone that appreciates you and knows your worth

few things irritate me more than this clear misuse of the dynamic

i am not a submissive but i know that being one doesn't mean you let your "dom" belittle your feelings and treat you like crap
especially not punishing you for sharing your thoughts and asking questions

know your worth ❤ find someone one that treats you the way you want and need to be treated
don't settle for less
Post #1035791 Back to top ▲
12/21/2016
  
niet-ish
Member
he sounds like a self important ass
get rid of him and find someone that appreciates you and knows your worth

few things irritate me more than this clear misuse of the dynamic

i am not a submissive but i know that being one doesn't mean you let your "dom" belittle your feelings and treat you like crap
especially not punishing you for sharing your thoughts and asking questions

know your worth ❤ find someone one that treats you the way you want and need to be treated
don't settle for less
Post #1035791
Columns Display
Show/Hide Columns and Drag the Icon to Reorder
Show rows with value thatAndClear
Export
Topic Info
Forum Moderators: Cradz, MistressTrinna, CarelessWhisper, ksenia
By continuing past this page, and by your continued use of this site, you agree to be bound by and abide by our terms of use, privacy policy and our use of cookies.
©2001-2018 The Pork Community Inc.
All Rights Reserved.
Designed, developed and maintained by Cradz.
This site is for adults who wish to chat anonymously with like minded grown ups. There is no advertising, basic membership to this chat site is free and our chat is old school internet 1.0 style free chat rooms. Chat online with people from all walks of life today!